The Storm Hits!

Twas a stormy, cold day in my hometown with forecasts of severe evening blasts of HOT spells!
The ladies and I started off the afternoon by going to our local nail spa for our mani/pedi and we were greeted by friendly staff that were genuine enough to our faces, but later through the appointment, the mood changed. I was getting flashbacks of an episode of Seinfeld where Elaine went to her nail spa and had a phobia the staff were laughing at her (see video). I wish the staff included me in on the joke because what they were 'squaking' and laughing about seemed intriguing and i think its amazing how they can make a slight "WHAAAAAP", "GAAAAH" or deep nasal noise and that translates to something?! Ive learnt to just smile and nod and hope it didn't include me..., on the other hand, my manicure lady was quite cute and i had some very sexy nails when she had finished.
Moving on, the next stop was to pick up some classy alcohol and get the bubbly flowing at my humble abode. We took at least 3 hours to get ready and by the end of it, I had to turn off the air conditioning because due to my avoidance, we had all allowed ourselves to be the epitome of absolute hotness. It made me ill to think of the trouble it was going to cause later that evening.
Our chauffeur had rung the door bell, the drinks were put down, mascara applied, pantie line assessed and we were good to go. Along the way we picked up another fabulous founding member of the OHA and the heavens above started opening up and creating a storm (literally). It was then obvious to me, we had declared there would be war tonight and put on our armour.......... = more gloss.
Arriving at the club, the scene was quite impressive. I ordered a drink for the birthday girl and not long after, more of my recruits arrived, and we cut the ribbon for the race to unleash our familiar behaviour. We kept it under wraps for quite sometime and when the moment was appropriate a massive hit song came on and all of the ladies squealed with excitement as we knew this would be the perfect time to display our natural talent. So the guns were fired and funnily enough the floor around us cleared and people seriously considered whether we were hired by the establishment because we were all in sync with our choreography and not one of us let a smile crack. It was quite well organised and we even earned a round of applause by the end of the track, so we could all breathe and order another drink, the first act was over!
Ten minutes later there was a scantily clad belly dancer standing beside me while I was caressing a 7 ft long python around my neck (of the reptile sort). It wasn't killing my sexy at all...in fact, i was visioning myself as a doppelganger for the well respected Ms Britney Spears circa 2001 MTV Awards minus the microphone to boot.
Many dance moves, attempts of bum slaps and face stares later, the army and i were assessing whether it was necessary to move on to our next classy joint and the unanimous decision came to .... HELL YES!
Taxi's were hailed as soon as we got outside and we deployed to our next assignment location. Our names were on the door, thanks to another recruit, which entitled express and free entry, but gps pin points must have been located because word got out where me and my army were.
The crowds came flooding and we had to progress to the outside lounge to escape the heat (mostly created by us). This is where I ordered for ranks to fall back and regain their dignity whilst the battlefields were getting nasty. Boot laces were getting ripped, mobiles were getting dropped, photos were being deleted, drinks were getting smashed and I was in my element! ;)
I had one too many energy drinks so the time came where some members and I got the snooker table confused with the dance floor and this bought on a very abrupt exit when we were met face to face with the security team (which was the OHA in disguise) and we opted to leave because clearly we had peaked!
Farewells and prayers were said to all recruits, the crowd cleared and by my watch, it was whopper o'clock!